Relationship advice

That sucks, dude. So, yeah, what happened? You met her and started hanging out all the time, like, immediately?

Oh, that's cool. Everything's going really well, you like each other so much, have so much in common. I dunno, maybe you're in love with each other. Yeah, yeah. It's like magical or something. So she moves in with you? After like a month?

Ugh. That's an awful idea. But yeah, I get that. I mean, it makes sense at the time, even if it ends up terribly, and obviously it will.

So, like, clearly you were still enjoying yourselves for a while? And then, what? You start to actually get to know each other? You're spending literally all of your time together, and it's still fun and cool, mostly, but also, like, at some point her true self and your true self start to emerge? Yeah, little stupid arguments about nonsense and shit?

Right. And, what, it just continues to get worse after that? Like, uh, little by little you start arguing more and more, and instead of being dumb bullshit arguments it's like actually about things you think are important, and gradually your philosophical differences begin to reveal themselves? And you're like, at least in the beginning, you're like, I dunno, in denial about it, and even though these deep philosophical differences are becoming more apparent, and it's becoming more clear that these things are not going to resolve themselves, and in fact you might say they're irreconcilable, you both still try to keep it together? And after a time you both realize that neither one of you is willing to change anything about yourselves, even though it would certainly benefit you in this relationship and likely in future relationships?

Oh, yeah. That's really shitty. So your arguments get worse and more frequent and you kind of start hating each other, and of course that makes the situation itself worse, but for whatever reason neither one of you wants to give up? Like, maybe you think one of you will eventually win the relationship, whatever that might mean, but you know that's never going to happen, and in reality you're just going to continue making each other more miserable, hopefully until one of you dies? Yeah, man. I've totally been there. That sucks.